Dating Game Darwinism
by Tracy Diane Miller
Summary: The pearls of wisdom on dating, as told by Chuck Fishman.


Dating Game Darwinism  
  
Summary: The pearls of wisdom on dating, as told by Chuck Fishman.  
  
Disclaimer: Early Edition characters belong to their creators. No  
  
copyright infringement intended. No profit is being made.  
  
Author's Note: This very short story came about as I was walking to  
  
work this morning. For some reason, I couldn't get that scene  
  
in "Babies" when Chuck is talking to Gary about dating (hence my  
  
title) and Chuck's voice out of my head. He just wouldn't shut up.  
  
LOL. Anyway, the following short story is what Mr. Fishman had to  
  
say about dating g.  
  
Author: Tracy Diane Miller  
  
E-mail address: tdmiller82@hotmail.com  
Dating Game Darwinism  
  
I tell you.it's a jungle out there. Remember what Darwin said about  
  
survival of the fittest and natural selection? No? I think that it  
  
was something about only the strongest species being able to survive  
  
in the changing world and the weak being weeded out. Gone. Kaput.  
  
Competition is the name of the game. The strong crush the weak and  
  
then pass on their traits to the next generation of offspring. Sound  
  
cutthroat? You bet. It's a dog eat dog world out there. And I'm  
  
not just talking about the world of commodities trading. Hey, I knew  
  
that kind of pressure for years. I can't say that I'm sorry to see  
  
it go. Now I produce a successful show, "Bikini Squad", and it's  
  
almost like a license to print my own money. No, what I'm talking  
  
about is an even more unpredictable commodity- the dating game.  
  
Let's face it folks, the market of guys trying to find the right  
  
chick, and vice versa, ain't easy. For every good looking woman out  
  
there, I wager that there are at least ten guys competing for her  
  
attention. I played that scene for years and even for a good looking  
  
guy like me, it took awhile to find the right woman. So what if she  
  
is a former jewel thief? No one's perfect. God knows that I've made  
  
my share of mistakes. But Jade has put her criminal past behind her.  
  
She's an actress and doing very well for herself. Most importantly,  
  
she's my wife. Yep, we've been married for almost three years now.  
  
I've been in the jungle and I survived it. But not every good  
  
looking guy is so lucky. Take my best bud, Gar, for example.  
  
Gary Hobson is probably every girl's idea of the perfect guy. He's  
  
this handsome kid with that "aw shucks" thing going for him in  
  
spades. He's sensitive (and he's not even faking it. That's the way  
  
he really is), cares about a woman's feelings, and if any guy was  
  
born to be a father, it's Gar. I mean, he's a man who in the 1990s  
  
believed that the "American Dream" consisted of a wife, home, and  
  
kids. Listening to Gar's thoughts about dating, marriage, and family  
  
is like being trapped in some 1940s movie where guys and girls still  
  
went out for ice cream sodas and the word "courting" made perfect  
  
sense. And to add to Gary's rating on the "perfection" scale, he  
  
also gets tomorrow's newspaper today. Talk about an ice breaker, or  
  
at the very least, a unique way to impress the chicks. A girl likes  
  
Italian food, you use the Paper to make the money to take her to  
  
Italy. She likes jewelry? You get her the Hope Diamond. Talk about  
  
a big rock, a boulder. No wait.there's supposed to be a curse on  
  
that diamond. Never mind, nix the Hope Diamond, but you can still  
  
buy her some diamonds. What girl could resist diamonds? And throw  
  
in the fact that the gift was given by a handsome guy, and you're on  
  
easy street with that woman. Gar has his pick of the best crop of  
  
women; man, he can be "king of the jungle" if he wants. But that guy  
  
is a major disappointment to me. See, he has everything going for  
  
him, has The Paper and everything, and he's running around the city  
  
like some nut helping people who could care less about him. He's  
  
getting himself hurt and arrested.  
  
And comes home to an empty apartment every single night.  
  
Gar was married to Marcia Roberts, but that relationship was such a  
  
disaster that it could have qualified for federal aid. He took  
  
quite a beating in that relationship. What woman tosses her husband  
  
out of the house on their wedding anniversary? Gar never saw that  
  
one coming. To add insult to injury, thereafter, Marcia quickly  
  
became engaged to Phil Pritchard. Pritchard was Gary's ex-boss at  
  
Strauss & Associates. Man, did that guy enjoy making Gary's life  
  
miserable. To this day, I think old Phil boy was mad that Gar up and  
  
quit on him. Pritchard loved holding the threat of firing over his  
  
employees' heads and that particular ax was something that dangled  
  
above Gary's head almost from day one.  
  
It had to smart for Gar that Marcia was going to marry Pritchard. I  
  
still think that she and Pritchard were doing the deed, so to speak,  
  
the whole time she and Gar were married, but I'll keep that opinion  
  
to myself. I wouldn't want to hurt Gary by sharing this tidbit. I  
  
actually was glad that Marcia stood Pritchard up at the altar and I  
  
know that Gar was gloating about it, too. Yeah, he's a good guy, but  
  
he had a right to smirk over Pritchard's misfortune, after all that  
  
man did to him. Gar won't admit it, but I still think that he  
  
intended to whack Pritchard good on that squash court. I'd say that  
  
he was entitled.  
  
After Marcia, Meredith Carson came into Gary's life. Man, was she a  
  
real looker and feisty, too. But she was a Sun-Times reporter and  
  
he was the guy who got tomorrow's newspaper today. Oil and water.  
  
Cats and dogs. That relationship was doomed before you could  
  
say "Chinese food". For the record, I kinda liked Meredith. She  
  
knew how to show our boy a good time, if you know what I mean.  
  
Emma Shaw was the one that got away. Sweet Emma. I think that Gary  
  
really loved her and she could have helped him leave the dating game  
  
jungle for good. Maybe they would have even gotten married someday.  
  
But Gary learned that this guy, Marco, Emma's long-lost love who she  
  
thought was dead, was actually alive. The Paper said that Emma would  
  
be reunited with Marco at the opera. Gar knew about this and instead  
  
of keeping Emma from this chance meeting and fighting for the woman  
  
that he loved, Gary decided to play Boy Scout and step aside,  
  
allowing Emma and Marco to get back together. I'll never understand  
  
that guy. So many opportunities for happiness, for romance, and he  
  
lets those opportunities slip right through his fingers.  
  
I don't know much about Erica Paget, but from what I hear from  
  
others, Gary's probably lucky that relationship didn't work out. And  
  
Detective Brigatti, she's a nice looking woman and all, but she's  
  
pretty scary. I remember how she socked Gar in the jaw the day I  
  
married Jade. Gary's been abused enough, emotionally and physically  
  
because of that stupid Paper. He certainly doesn't need to have a  
  
woman beating him up every chance that she gets.  
  
Yep, it's a jungle out there. Dating game Darwinism. Survival of  
  
the fittest. And even being a good looking, sensitive guy who gets an  
  
early edition doesn't guarantee that you'll survive in that jungle.  
  
Just ask Gary.  
  
The End. 


End file.
